Today, I spent almost 3 and 1/2 hours surfing through youtube about just one word "Passion". It may seem outrageously stupid to you to spend 210 minutes on a single word and I have been lingering over it for almost a year and a half.
I didn't want to be a pretend person and I also have recently pledged myself, to live in reality (I have been leading a fantasy life for long enough). So, if I am trying to be honest to myself, then why not to be truthful to others also.
I am no philosopher, nor I am a writer (although I fancied being one) neither I am a successful person. In fact, for most of you, I am unemployed & unsuccessful.
I didn't get placed in any of the companies that came in my college and its been a year and a half, and I am still couldn't find a job for myself.
We all love hearing about great people, about their amazing, successful lives. Writers, painter entrepreneur, millionaires people who found their true calling, It's really inspiring and motivating to listen to their life stories, but these are very few lives, very few stories and in India with a population of about 1.3 billion and every year graduating student of around 1.5 million. After getting to know this data you can imagine the success ratio.
I didn't mean to dishearten or demotivate anyone ( if anyone is reading this) and as I have said earlier, I am not a philosopher, I also remember a quote from one "Philosophy is a bunch of empty ideas."
So, This not philosophy but an experience from the side of the table, where millions stand
You know the funny part is my father always used to tell me that, to be worth you need to get across the table but where does this boundary, this table is placed?
I never questioned this. I was always so afraid of losing (why? that's altogether a different story and right now, let's focus on this one) fear of failure is really overwhelming and overpowering, it is so consuming that, it seemed like, I have failed them, that life is finished and not worth living but worsed happened and I didn't die.
Actually, when people seem to get the feeling that they are not going to succeed, they tend to hover over things, that could hide them. I hid behind the word 'passion', in starting it was just an escape route for me, but the thing about all the escape routes are that they will ultimately leave you naked.
So, there I was confused, angry all the time. I even had a mild depression, in short, I really hit the rock bottom (at least for me).
But, as everywhere it has been said, when you are at the bottom, the only way is upward.
I won't say that I have turned my life around or I have achieved anything concrete, the things that I have started are, I now keep a journal, I have started doing yoga (on daily basis) and fortunately I am losing the weight that I gained during my stay at hostel, I have also learned cooking (because of my mum, but started liking it), I started doing sketching as something that I enjoy, not to make something out of it. But that's not the point actually the point is, I was fooling myself, I used to watch videos 'follow your passion, do what you love etc. etc.' to keep myself going.
But the important thing that I learned in this midst of everything crazy, that had been going on in life is that you don't need to throw everything else to do the thing you love, all you need is just to learn time management.
I have read an article in " how you shouldn't follow your passion."
Firstly because you don't exactly know, how good you are and if your passion would be enough to pay the bills.
And secondly, If you did manage to make a career out of your it. It would be difficult to be professional, you might get sentimental about criticism or rejections because it is so close
heart.
So, this was my little knowledge, my experience.
'Sometimes we tend to wait, a little too much for good things to happen that we stop living.'
And now, that you have stuck with me till the end. I just want to say, please do share your stories. may be yours will turn out be another life lesson for me.
I will catch up with you guys soon, till then...
au revoir
A really honest take on the lives of many of us. I do honestly believe that almost every single one of all the good writers out there has had a story/period like this in his/her own life. And, this is (or this must be, according to my experience) also true for many people who are associated with various creative professions and who have truly impacted the lives of millions of people. Take JK Rowling or Steve Jobs for example, they both had to face their own share of disappointments and failures in their lives. I am not claiming that this is true for all successful people but it (failure or disappointment) certainly gives them an advantage. They attain a kind thought process which persuades and challenges us to do something that we otherwise wouldn't do. They begin to understand what others who went through something similar might have felt. And, this understanding is what makes them a good writer. Once you hit rock bottom and are honest about it, you have nothing more to be afraid of. I know it sounds a little bit cheesy, but the only way you can go then is up.
ReplyDeleteI do wish you a good luck in your journey and I hope that you will pave your own unique path.